Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Stop this discrimination!!!

Einstein, Mozart, Cauchy, Newton, Bill Gates, Alan Turing, Neils Bohrs, Shakespeare and every other true genius you have heard about had aspergers.

But why discriminate against them? Why treat them as mad when they are not? Are they not human beings? Don't they have feelings too? Isn't there a kind soul in each one of them? Let me tell you one thing straight, most of them were probably great human beings and cared a great deal for everyone in this world, except that they had difficulty expressing it because of their medical disorder.

Aspergers is no disease, it is another way of life and you will rarely find a genius worthy of coming under the greatest geniuses of all time unless he has this order. The only person I could find who was a real gem and didn't have aspergers is Stephen Hawkins. Now, is that what you want all geniuses to go through?

This disorder anyway makes one go through bad periods due to social awkwardness and often other painful trials too. Shouldn't you help such people out instead of just adding to their pain and in fact being the prime cause for the same?

Enough is enough, at least try to be human!!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Is there something called 'justice'?

Is there any justice in the world?

Do we actually get the rewards of our deeds and the fruits of our suffering?

Do bad people actually go to hell?

Does there really exist a God?

Is there something which finally results in the universe being fair to everyone?

Does pain really come to an end, ever?

Are universal laws really applicable?

Is there really happiness in heaven, or on the other side?

Will I ever get justice?

Are prayers ever heard?

Is there really a purpose for all this crap?

Is the final goal really reaching your love and being in peace?

Will my life ever change?

Is there really any point in waiting and working hard?

And is there enough light to remove all the darkness?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Aspergers: A prerequisite to genius...

After coming to know that all these geniuses have aspergers, how can anybody think of the term genius and aspergers in isolation :P

Albert Einstein
Issac Newton
Benjamin Franklin

Napolean Bonaparte
George Washington
Abraham Lincoln

Alexandre the Great
More but I haven't heard of the others :P

Leonardo Da Vinci
Vincent Van Gogh


Henry Ford
Bill Gates

Tom Hanks
Marilyn Monroe

Isaac Asimov
Charles Dickinson

Abbe, iske baad to lagta hai ki unless you have Aspergers you can be a genius but definitely not one of the greatest geniuses to have lived on Earth.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Good Amongst The Bad

All of us are bad, bad bad very bad. PERIOD!!

None of us genuinely cares for anybody except himself/herself and those very few who do care selflessly and unconditionally (and I am one of them :)) rarely bother helping out people in distress. All we care about is ourselves!

All of us are very selfish. To be very honest there is no single person on earth who I can genuinely call "GOOD" leave alone "GOD". And it isn't that I am boasting or anything but when it all finally boils down to the heart I am yet to see anybody who can challenge me. I know it sounds true but I am forced to say this out loud due to some personal reasons. Although me and my angel are pretty much THE BEST I have come across, none of us are "GOOD". I consider myself, "Decent" at best, the minimum recommended to be permitted to live in this Universe.

Having said that, I don't think there are too many of you out there who even come close or in other words I feel the majority of the people don't deserve to live in the first place. And these are people who I would refer to as good human beings in every day talk. So the average joe is probably a heartless loser. But if you really think of it, we all are heartless. We only want to solve our own problems.

Are we willing to sacrifice our everything to help the world? NO!
Then are we not bad??

It is all about being good amongst all the bads we encompass and that is enough to at least make some difference.

On the other hand I don't believe God when he makes people suffer the crap out of them blaming it on the Law of Karma. Nobody deserves to really suffer. Nobody deserves to be in pain. After all, we are ALL ONE... Some suffering can be good but real suffering isn't. We need to learn, not cry.

I have learnt, I have suffered, I have cried, but that is not good. What good is that? Nobody else learnt anything and only I alone have lost for a mistake that is not even my own :(

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I am sorry...

I was very angry and got carried away. My father provoked me and started the argument. I have any way been disturbed over the last few days as everything has been going against me. And my father just burnt the last straw of the hay which ignited the whole thing.

But I keep my stand, I definitely don't love him but have to just accept him because I have no other father. Mama is not that bad but decent, but if you see from the point of view of genuine unconditional love then none of us have that for the other person.

But for the remaining years I will just need to live this crappy life of mine :(

Why I hate my father so much...

First of all, I did not hit him, not today nor ever after the promise to my angel.

Now let me tell you a few reasons why I hate him so much. I would rather be an orphan than have the parents I have. I curse them that never in any of their births starting the very next should they ever be gifted with a child.

I take back my words. It is usually against my policy to curse but this is something my heart genuinely felt when I wrote it.

1. He is violent both physically and verbally, abusive and insensitive.

2. He starts shouting at me even if I am polite.

3. He doesn't care how much money I make or how much money I loose to clients who do not pay. He doesn't care about lending even a helping hand.

4. He doesn't care no matter how I do in my exams and he would rather I leave college than do it because I need some help of my parents in completing my degree.

5. He doesn't care if I have no money for my allowance.

6. He doesn't care whether I commit suicide or am murdered as long as he doesn't have to go to jail.

7. He is disrespectful and wrong.

To be very honest I have absolutely no respect for him and I nearly hate him. I would rather have him out of my life completely and absolutely had some points been to my advantage.

And I can promise you that he is not worth having as a father. He may be a capable doctor, a high IQ individual and an average earner, but as far as being a father is concerned he is rubbish. He probably is okay with most people he interacts but few people know how much trouble it is to tolerate him at home.

I don't care what anybody thinks of this post, I can't hide all this forever. If you think that I am wrong then that is your problem and not my concern. But I still literally hate him...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Why I am right?

So, why do I think that if I commit suicide I am not doing anything wrong.

1. I have the right to life and death and nobody can take that right from me. I am not harming or hurting anybody (at least directly) in the process.

2. I am not barring something good from happening which would have happened had I lived further because I wouldn't have done any good anyway. The anger, pain and hatred inside me wouldn't permit me from doing anything truly good for anybody unless there are personal reasons behind it.

3. A lot bad won't happen because the cruel me would be dead forever.

4. My parents don't care so I am not hurting them. Had they cared they would have tried their best to help me out of this even if it meant killing me. Even if they want me then that is just being selfish because the pain I am enduring and will need to face is of a far greater magnitude than what they have or will ever face. Their love for me is not even comparable to my love for my angel. PERIOD!!!

5. Sister: I am not the center of her world so it is cool.

6. Friends/Relatives: I don't think that there is anybody that close to me or vice versa or that doesn't make that sort of a difference.

7. Business: Will probably find a successor in somebody before I die, hopefully.

8. God: He hates me and I hate him back. No need for any commitment.

9: That person: LOL, Obviously she doesn't care a damn and in fact my death might give her some subtle happiness. That she will anyway have to pay for later so it is okay.

So. This proves that suicide at least in my case is not wrong. Not that I am doing it tomorrow or something but it just means that I have every right to do it because it is not wrong.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Set them free :(

What do you prefer: One innocent person dead or one guilty person free? The answer in my mind is absolutely clear. I would rather let a person with with dignity and in peace if there is even an iota of doubt in my mind rather than kick his ass. And, that, is only fair...

It was only today that mama raised the issue of many Pakistani boys jailed in Indian prisons just because they crossed the border by mistake. Now it literally makes me abuse the crap out of the people who are responsible for such hideous crimes. If there is so much of an issue I would rather set all suspected terrorists free as well. We have absolutely no right to their life unless we are not 100% sure that they and none other are responsible for those atrocious atrocities and even then they have every right to explain themselves. And why shouldn't they? As long as they are human, they are one of us and we don't have to throw bite a dog if he/she bites us. In our anger, YES, otherwise NO...

And I would anyway not really mind if everybody is set free, perhaps barring a few really really few who truly deserve to be there. If you want to fight them out, fight it out in the battlefield. Let us see who wins.

Make a fair world and the rest will fall in place. Good people only lead to better times. Set the big things in place and the small ones won't matter and to correct the bigger picture act on the smaller ones.

Enough for now,

Signing out!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Why Vegetarian???

It was a couple of years ago, perhaps when I was in the seventh or eight that I got the insight into myself that killing animals for the sake of the tongue's pleasure is a serious offence and it was then that I left non-vegetarian and shunned away those who consumed it. However, I hadn't left eggs just as yet.

Maybe I was in my ninth class when papa introduced me to Guruji and for the sake of the Guru mantra I don't know what caused me to leave eggs, forever. I became an even more strict vegetarian, stopped consuming even gelatin. It was my love for God who I viewed as my Guruji that caused me to do it.

The years that followed were and still are very difficult times for me. There was a time when my faith in Guruji completely broke and it was then I thought that working for the welfare of this world is futile when God doesn't give a damn about me, nor does anybody else. So I restarted non-vegetarianism again and ate meat in full swing. I really enjoyed the food, but...

A couple of months back when I revisited him and when some things happened. Some of the faith within me, although with a shadow of doubt revived and I don't want to take a chance of his words not coming true because of eating non-vegetarianism. So I left it again, completely.

To be very honest, one should be vegetarian especially if one is good at heart. However being non-vegetarian doesn't guarantee hell and nor does it guarantee heaven for that matter I feel. You need to try to be as good as you can, and your food is a very small part of this process.


Friday, February 5, 2010

My Name is Khan

Going to be a great movie with a great cast directed by a great director with a great story line. :)

But, what SRK has is probably not Aspergyers, in this movie I mean. I don't know much but it looks closer to Autism, at least to me. There are not many ways of physically detecting Aspergers and especially showing it. There shouldn't have been any stiff body movements had they really been trying to show Aspergyers.

For those who don't know already, Aspergyers is a social disorder and found in 1 in 10,000 persons. It is far more uncommon than autism and very difficult to diagnose. Often those people are above average intelligence and sometimes purely genius material.

So much can I related the characters in that movie to my life, all the important characters I feel. Although my life is far tougher and much worse, but something on lines with the same. At least he has had his share of happy moments and will probably be fine by the end. I can't really comment the same about myself, sadly.

Anyway, looking forward to watch SRK in his new avatar. :D

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Don't give it back...

This time, I will stand up for a cause.

For me nobody is an enemy(well, nobody except those two whom too I am ready to forgive), and I care for every single living soul. So...

Just because somebody does something bad to you, doesn't mean that it must be retaliated. What is important is to convey the message that you have been wronged and you must must must try to change the person and change him for the better so that the lives of so many more people become easier.

Harming somebody doesn't really give you anything. Does it? Do you really enjoy it? Some people might take it a little in stride but in the long run it hampers the development of all souls. I do have a desire for taking revenge from those two but only in a limited sense. I don't want to do to them what they did to me. And what they made me go through was way too much to enjoy me being fair or rational, so, we are talking of exceptional circumstances here.

But I believe in being just to everybody but that doesn't mean that everybody should be punished. Learning and helping is what we are here for, not for punishing.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Why I Haven't Died Yet???

For all those wondering why I haven't committed suicide yet, having saying that for years now,

Well, to be honest, I haven't completely lost ALL HOPE till now. I may not be very cheerful but I am still waiting for a miracle.

Sure, I won't wait forever. Anyway,

Bye for now.