Dil Se OR Not?

I was very young. SRK was my favorite actor (and still is, of course!). A new Bollywood flick came out, Dil Se, a SRK movie.

It was a flop all over, and A rated, over a decade ago I guess, so I was like 10ish or something. My parents wouldn't take me to the theater to watch it.
Finally, it was no longer in the theaters either. I waited weeks, maybe months to watch Dil Se.

Everybody said it was shit, but it was a movie I wanted to watch more than I had ever watch any movie in my life.

Perhaps I haven't wanted to watch any movie as badly till now, after over a decade since then. I was crazy, I just wanted to watch it and there was no major explanation why.

Finally, in my nanu's place I managed to get that movie shown over the local cable. As I told you, I was still very young and had never stayed alone at home, or at nanu's home.

I agreed to watch it even when nobody was available to be with me. I was damn scared and kept standing near the door after a while, but I went ahead. I sacrificed my fear, forgot everything and finally watched it. And for what?

 For NOTHING! By the time I reached mid way I realized that neither then nor even now have I watched something as boring nor detested any movie half as much. I hated it.

Besides, the lack of interest only feuded by loneliness and fear fear at being alone at such a young age, from my standards, that is. What I had wanted more than anything else in my life, turned out to be a punishment for me.

I didn't want to watch that movie, I thought that I wanted to watch that movie. I didnt like it at all and all my wishes were finally even in vain despite them being answered.

 True, had that wish not been answered it might have been worse, but it taught me a lesson which I had forgotten till a few days back.

I was not to get any happiness from watching the movie, it was a mistake on my part that I thought that it would make me happy. No, it didn't, not at all. Anyway, God Bless!